My Life in a Nutshell

This afternoon was pretty fun. I ended up meeting up with Greg at the park. After 6 hours of homework I needed to get out of the house. Though having to sprint home and have my mom call and yell at me for being late (3 seperate times) was really annoying. She didn't exactly know I was meeting him there...but that's ok. She can stay in the dark about that one.

After that I went and hung out at the barn with Tess and some of the other adults there. Tess is my Thoroughbred Paint mare who I have owned since October 2006. She's 9 years old and still quite spunky. We had to switch barn this month because our old barn was going to be condemned soon. It's kind of odd being at the new barn because here, I'm kind of at the bottom of the chain. I'm the newest member and I have no friends there. At the old barn I was one of the oldest girls, everyone there was my friend, etc. It's funny how everything changes. I actually kinda hate it at the new place. My horse is to scared to even go into her stall, this being because the bar is to low that holds the door on, and she hit her head on it the first day there. She has been getting herself so worked up she's sweaty after a half hour ride. This isn't normal for her.

My friends are kinda out of wack recently. Jenny is...odd...she acts all mean and bitchy to me, but then she expects me to like her. You've got to be kidding me...And ever since me and Greg started going out I haven't really hung out with any of my other friends, even though we sit at the same lunch table! Neelou...yeah...she's my best friend. My only real friend recently.

I've been going through a kind of dark time recently. I actually have gone 2 weeks without cutting, and see my therapist regularly. It's actually helping. I haven't freaked out at my mom after she yelled at me or anything like that. I haven't even taken massive amounts of painkillers or tried to commit suicide. That's a huge plus. I know everyone was a bit worried about me because of some of the things I was doing. 22 painkillers is not good at all. Though you get incredibly high, you can do some serious damage. Or so I found out. I couldn't eat for days after that without getting a stomach ache.

Some background information on me: Parents got divorced when I was 4, mom ran off to Oregon with her new boyfriend leaving me and my twin brother with my now single dad. My dad was an oil tanker captain and would leave for months at a time, so he eventually had to have my mom take us. I was incredibly geeky for a while, untill 6th grade actually, and was a loner. I lived in a small town for 11 years called Homer in Alaska. I would live there for half a year (switching every couple of months) and come to West Linn for the other half. I had few friends in WL and a large amount in Homer. In 8th grade my dad decided to move us to Anchorage so he could be closer to his job. So me, Logan (twin bro), Heather (stepmom), Bailey(7 year old half sister), and Isabella (4 year old half sister) and Spaz (our cat), all moved on June 4th of 2005. I went to Hanshew middle school where I learned a lot about city schools and what to do and what not to do. It was an interesting experiance.

This year it kind of all changed in the loner department. I actually have friends! We have a kind of odd group.There are actully a lot of kids in it, which is interesting because last year we had one of the smallest groups. All of the popular kids kind of split up and so our group is really large compaired to some of the others. Our school isn't as cliquey as it was in middle school, so everyone has different friends in different groups. We're actually a couple of groups banded together, which is cool. Means we get some more guys. But yeah, this year was kind of the one that changed it all. I can't even imagine life without my friends.

I'll try to fill in some more details tomorrow. Loves, Heart